


Trusting a man

by Fangirlmoon



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Autism, Autistic Spencer Reid, Canon-Typical Violence, Father-Son Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Parental Jason Gideon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-14 04:47:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29412861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fangirlmoon/pseuds/Fangirlmoon
Summary: The five times Reid only trusted Gideon and the first time he trusted Hotch.
Relationships: Jason Gideon & Spencer Reid
Comments: 5
Kudos: 73





	1. Chapter 1

"Get this off me." Reid yells when Elle approached him after he climbs out of the pool.

"Get what of you?"

"Just get it off." Stressed he moves his hands. "Get it off."

"Reid I don't know what you mean."

"It's wet get it off." He says again, not touching anything himself just shaking like a leaf. 

Her attention got drawn to Morgan who had found the reporter in the bushes. "That's the guy?"

"Yeah he was hiding behind there."

"Please get it off." Spencer says again, his voice breaking.

"Kid what's wrong? We got the guy the pictures won't be published. Don't worry."

"I need this off."

"Need what off?" Elle asks again but Reid didn't answer her again just standing there in frustration and eventually starting to sob,not wanting to move more and have the clothing stuck to his skin even more. 

"Kiddo, look at me." Carfully Gideon approaches him. "Can you hear me?"

"Make it stop." 

"I will. I am gonna take your tie off first okay?" He waited for Spencer's consents before doing that and then proceed to ask him about the shirt which he also agreed to. "I am gonna rub your skin with a towel alright?"

"Pants." Spencer bites out still not moving from his spot. 

"Morgan is getting new clothes from the car right now and then we can go inside and we can change them okay?"

"Please."

"Let's go find the bathroom and start getting you out of those. Morgan will be here any minute." With a hand behind Spencer's back but not touching him he guides him through the modern house into a bathroom closing the door behind them. "Can I take them off or do you want to do it yourself?" He didn't get an answer except from Spencer going to the ground. Shortly before a knock on a door was heard and Morgan stepped in handing Gideon a seat of sweats and underwear from his own go back. 

"Is this okay?"

"Perfect."

"You need any help?"

"No." Morgan left Gideon to it who helped Spencer out of the wet clothing and carfully using a soft towel to dry him. The man whimpered under the touch and still felt sore when the fresh clothes met his skin, shrinking away from it in the beginning and slowly relaxing while Gideon uses a hair dryer on him, slowly guiding through his curls until Reid stops him by placing a hand on the man's stomach and the gesturing towards his ear. "It's almost dry anyway." Encouraging he smiles at Spencer before putting it back. "You think we can drive to the precinct?" It took him a moment before shaking his head. "Hotel?"

It wasn't really a suprised to Morgan that Gideon and him changed rooms normally he shares a room with Reid since Gideon thought it would be better for Spencer to be with someone closer to his age and getting used to other people and it worked pretty well but after events like this Gideon was not about to leave him in another hotel room.

"Is he okay?" Worried Morgan looks down on Spencer cuddled on the bad in the at least two sizes to big clothes from Morgan not saying a word but also not having his eyes closed.

"He will be. Don't worry."


	2. Chapter 2

It happened fast, Spencer and Morgan had were fighting the unsub in a dark hallway when suddenly Spencer felt something sharp being slammed inside of him. Causing him to gasp shortly before Morgan got the better over the man, knocking him unconscious for a few second and cuffing him. "Kid you okay?"

"Mmm"

"Good then let's get out of here." Reid followed Morgan and the UNSUB who had come back to himself out of the building were they were greeted by the others. 

"Are you okay?" Hotch asks first approaching them.

"All got."

"Reid?" Hotch asks again not believing Morgan's answer when he saw the man pale as a sheet in the lights from the SUV's. "What's wrong?" As an answer Reid looked down were the blood leaked through his hands. "Wow hey it's alright. Emily call an ambulance." 

"No ambulance."

"Kid, this is not up to debate." Hotch tries to put an arm around him but Spencer flinches away. "Let's get you sit down by the cars." 

In pain the man followed his Teamleader and was glad when he spotted Gideon. "What happened?"

"I got stabbed."

"How the hell did that happen?" Carefully Gideon guides him down, Spencer's back now leaning against the wheel of the SUV. "You will be alright, the ambulance is on it's way."

"No ambulance."

"It will be alright. I will be here."

"No,no, please." Protectively he covers his wound with his hands. "No medics."

"Okay no medics." Gideon lied to calm him down. "No medics just me."

"Good."

"Keep the pressure on the wound."

"I am."

"Perfect. You are doing so good." He assured him and to the horror of the people watching Spencer smiled at that. "Could have been a medical doctor."

"I don't like hospitals so that wasn't an option."

"Glad I found you then." He guides his hand through Spencer's hair and felt the guilt rushing into his heart when he saw the blue lights and started holding Spencer down as he started to panic. "Its okay."

"You lied."

"I know but you need professional help."

"No." Spencer tried to flee out under Gideons hold but it was no secret that he wasn't as strong as him. "Please don't-"

"I will be here the whole time."

"Agents?"

"This is Dr. Reid, he got stabbed." Scared Spencer looked up to the women and the men standing on each side of him. 

"Can you stand up,Dr?"

"I don't wanna go with you I am fine." He says seeking closure to Gideon and the medics looked confused at the older Agent when Hotch interrupted.

"He isn't." 

"C'mon Spencer." With strength Gideon shoves his arm between Spencer and the car to help him up and the man from the medical team immediately went to help to Spencer's other side. "Don't." 

"Agent-"

He didn't understand what Hotch had said to them but the moment they approached them again their behavior had changed to a lot more careful and kind. "Let's get you into into the ambulance okay? Is it okay if I help you?" Spencer shook his head in fear so Gideon took it on himself to get him into the bright light of the ambulance. 

"Let's get you laid down." 

"Bright." Spencer was about to reach for his eyes when Gideon stopped him. 

"Your hands are bloody. Don't touch your face." The man excuses himself to the driver seat, shutting the doors making Spencer flinch. "It's okay, it was just the door. You are okay." Gideon was still holding Spencer's arms up while the women checked the leaking wound. "You will be okay, breath." 

Eventhough they made it surprisingly well to the hospital, Spencer was struggling under Gideons hold and the touches of the medic and the moment they passed the hospital doors and were greeted with the noises and bright light. Gideon was glad it wasn't long until they put him into surgery.

"How is he?" 

"He just got into surgery. Kid has an unbelievable pain tolerance." 

"I didn't know he was stabbed. I wouldn't have made him walk out of the building if I did." Morgan explains. 

"I know." 

Needless to say when Spencer woke up he was greeted by the sight of Gideon sitting in a chair next to his bed. "There you are." He watches Spencer taking in his environment before trying to move. "Not yet,kid." He lets himself be pushed back into the mattress. "This will take a few days." Scared Spencer grabs Gideons arm,turning his head towards him. "Can you speak?" He couldn't but that wasn't his worry right now. He wanted to get out of here. 

"Hey pretty boy." Morgan greeted him as he stepped into the room. 

"Not now Morgan."

"Morgan."

"Morgan?" Suprised Gideon looked down on Spencer. "You want him to stay?" While saying that he pushes a few curls out of Spencer's face after he had looked up again. But the man didn't speak up again just seeking as much physical comfort he can get whenever he was awake. Moving more than he should. 

It was a lot of weight coming off of the teams shoulders when he finally got realised.


	3. Chapter 3

"Back off for god sakes." Morgan snaps making the agents in the bullpen flinch and Hotch and Gideon look up in their office. "What did he ever do to you huh?"

"He is annoying. Can't he sit still for five minutes?"

"You better watch your goddamn mouth." Furious Morgan walked towards the agent who had his desk directly opposite to Reid. 

"I am not the one who should be watching my mouth I've been tolerating this for months-"

"What's going on?" Hotch spoke up coming in sync with Gideon out of his office. No one answered and especially not Reid who was sitting on his chair,knees drawn up to his chest covering his eyes and looking curious up to Hotch. He hates fighting. He can't stand it. It's probably also the reason he hasn't said anything. He would rather live with a few comments ones in a while than having to confront the man. 

"Nothing sir." Agent Clark spoke up.

"Nothing? That's funny you say that." Morgan says taking another step forward.

"Agent Morgan, Agent Clark in my office now." While the two agents made their way up, Gideon made his way down to Spencer.

"What's going on?"

"Morgan snapped at Agent Clark." 

"The one sitting next to you?" Spencer removes one hand pointing to the desk directly infront of his desk. Only a thin white wall sperating them. "You have trouble with the noise?"

"Morgan suprised me."

"Oh." He gives Reid some space till the two agent walk out of Hotch's office and Reid was called up. "What's wrong?"

"I would like to talk to Reid alone for a moment." 

"Did I do something wrong?"

"No." Nervous he stands in the room waiting for Hotch's concern or issue whatever brings him up here even if he has a strong guess. "Is Agent Clark bothering you?"

As fast as he could he shock his head.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." To deal with the nervousness he taps his fingers against his elbow as he presses his arms against his stomach.

"Morgan seems really certain he does." 

"He doesn't."

"Reid you can tell me."

"There is nothing to tell you." Spencer presses. 

"Okay if you say so then you can go back to work." It wasn't till a few weeks later, that another situation occurred.

"Man c'mon its not funny." Emily says annoyed as Agent Clark and another Agent who isn't on their team laugh about Spencer not reading the room and not getting the joke they made. 

"That's because you are a women. Agent Morgan, you must find this funny."

"It wasn't." He answers. His anger already crawling up to his surface again. "Leave him alone."

"What are you gonna do? Ran to Agent Hotchner again?"

"What are you twelve? Let us work in peace." Emily steps in again. She really thought she wouldn't have to deal with jerks like this again after graduating high school. 

"We actually do let everyone work in peace but this guy doesn't." With his hands he gestured toward Reid. 

"He is not being a jerk you are." 

"He is being a retard that's what he is." And then Morgan snapped getting up from his desk and approaching the man hitting him with his fist over and over again when he was stopped by Hotch voice. "Are you insane?" The now bleeding agent asks. 

"What is going on here?" 

"You remember the conversation we had a few weeks back? You did nothing. So this is me doing something cause I am not letting some man come into work every day and terrorize Spencer. Enough is enough." With that sentence he walks towards the exit of the bullpen, Emily following him immediately. 

"I am sorry." Spencer said scared as Clark looked at him in disbelief. 

"What is wrong with you?"

"Nothing is wrong with him." Hotch steps in. "Go get yourself cleaned up and then meet me in my office." 

"You've gotta get your people under control." He mumbled as he walked of. 

"Spencer you maybe wanna tell me what happend." Speaking in a soft tone he leaned against Reid's desk crossing his arms. 

"Nothing happened."

"Let me handle this." Gideon stepped in. "C'mon we go up in my office." Spencer got seated in the old comfortable chair in the corner of the room and Gideon took one of the other chairs that were standing in front of his desk and pulled it in front of him Reid. "I know you don't like this but if you don't talk it will look like Morgan beat up an innocent man."

"He just teased me a little bit."

"Was it teasing?"

"Yeah."

"Tell me what he did then." He encourages Spencer. 

"He- He- He would start by saying I should sit quiet and not move around so much." He started sitting down on his hands. 

"And then?"

"He started making comments on my clothes and hair." He tells Gideon. "Not nice ones."

"What did you do?"

"Nothing. I am not as strong as him."

"Did he do something else?"

"He sometimes makes jokes that I don't get but Emily and Morgan don't find them funny either."

"Then they probably aren't."

"Is he going to get fired because of me?" Spencer asks afraid.

"Probably just transferred somewhere else."

"And Morgan?"

"I think Hotch will handle it." He did. Agent clark would keep his job but in the bullpen one floor under them and his behavior is not gonna be reported in return he wouldn't report Morgan. 

"You could have told me Reid." Hotch says sadly as he watches the young Agent put his books back from under desk to on the desk. "I am here to help you with those things."

"I have Gideon."

"Doesn't mean I can't help you too sometimes."

"It's fine. Thank you for making him not sit there anymore. Do you already know who will be sitting there?"

"No idea." 

To everyone relive it was a really kind women, who from the first day bonded with Reid and was as friendly and understanding as a human soul can be. 

And when she one day made a joke about Morgan beating her up, she got a lot of laughter and even Reid cracked a smile. She sure as hell wouldn't be beat up Morgan promised her.


	4. Chapter 4

"I have a date!" Reid tells Gideon excited after entering the man's office without any warning or knocking. 

"Excuse me?" The older man takes his thin glasses of looking up from the paperwork.

"I said I have a date." He repeats. "With a girl."

"Well, who is she?"

"She is working at the library near my apartment and asked me if I was interested in getting dinner this evening."

"That's spontaneous."

"It is!" To be honest Gideon was confused over Spencer's wide smile. She must be a hell of a girl. 

"Were are you going?"

"She said she would pick a restuarant and sent me a text message."

"Sounds like a modern women.Better read your text messages then."

"I will. I checked it twice already." Spencer tells him proudly. "What do I wear?"

"Something you are confident and comfortable in."

"This?"

"If this fits the description sure." He was wearing a checkered shirt, a dark tie and a grey sweater vest but the women must be already used to it Gideon thought. "Keep me updated on that location."

"I will." Sometimes Spencer was just busting in his office telling him something, mostly rambling for a few minutes and then just going again and he didn't mind one bit. He was glad Spencer was comfortable enough around him to do so.

Three hours later he was back. "It says here she will met me at the old Italian place down the street from were we met the first time." Listening to the messages it actually sounds like she could be a girl fitting for Spencer. Nerdy and mysterious and after all he had met her in a library. 

"You know what she is referring to?"

"Yes."

"Good then leave earlier today so you can be on time."

"I will. My paperwork is already done." Hotch had cracked a joke ones that on office days they are paying him for reading books because he finishes his paperwork way sooner than the rest of them. With a smile he leaves him alone again and Gideons sinks back into his paperwork till Spencer enters the office again at 6pm. "I wanted to say goodbye."

"Goodbye have fun tonight."

"I will thank you."

"Call me if something goes wrong." As he said that Spencer was already out of the room and Hotch stepped in. 

"What should go wrong?"

"Kid's got a date."

"Well did you tell him about the birds ans the bees?"

"What do you want?" Gideon asks changing the topic.

"Just wanted to drop of these files." 

"Thank you." He didn't think about it again till he walked down the steps into the bullpen getting himself another cup of coffee and seeing Morgan leaving. "Goodnight."

"You too." Morgan walked towards the doors before turning around again. "Did you know Spencer has a date tonight?"

"Yeah."

"You have confirmation that this girl is really real and not messing with him?"

"I read a text message seemed sweet I can't say more."

"Alright. Probably shouldn't worry about it so much. See you tomorrow." He was at his last stack of files, Hotch at equally far when he got a call from Spencer. 

"Spencer,how is your date?"

"Can you pick me up?"

"Of course, were are you?" He gave him the address which was definitely not the restuarant from the text message since it wasn't anywhere near his apartment. "I am on my way." 

"Is everything okay?" Hotch asks as Gideons rushes down the stairs. 

"Spencer called." Was all the answer the Teamleader got. He found the restuarant and not far away from it Spencer sitting on a bench. "What happened?"

"I happened." The younger man says, his eyes and nose red from the cold. "I messed it all up."

"What did you do?"

"A kid was sitting at the table next to us and it kept singing and then a waitress tripped and smashed multiple plates and I freaked." He explains quietly. 

"Freaked?" Spencer wouldn't use that word unless some else had said that. "She said that?"

"Yes." 

"Were is she?"

"Took of. She said that I am embarrassing." Sadly Gideon looks down on the self conscious man. This was definitely not a night that would help his confidence. "But one of the waiter was really nice." 

"I hope he straightened your date out."

"No he didn't." 

"C'mon let's get your home." He waited for Spencer to stand up and passed the restuarant and saw with one look inside the man that must had helped them as he nodded towards the two man. "You ate yet?"

"Not much."

"You wanna spend the night on my couch? I will cook something."

"That would be nice." 

"Good." As they walked into the office he inconspicuously shook his head at Morgan and when Spencer came up to his office later that day telling him how Morgan had invited him over to watch movies together on Friday he was a lot calmer than he was yesterday.


	5. Chapter 5

"Spencer I can't make it today." Gideon announces as he walks into the conference room were everyone was seated discussion their last case.

"Why?"

"I've got an appointment." 

"Can you not reschedule?" Spencer asks fiddling with the file in his hand. Today was Tuesday and every Tuesday they are in town Reid has therapy and Gideon comes along waiting in the waiting room. 

"No I am sorry."

"I don't wanna go alone." He says scared. "I've never been alone."

"You will do fine." 

"You promised you would come with me?"

"Spencer you've been going for a long time now you can manage one time alone." Gideon tries to push him while the others listened.

"No I don't want to."

"Why not?"

"I just- you said- I don't wanna go alone." 

"You do it like we always do. They know you at the reception you probably won't have to say a thing and then you wait there in the waiting area with a good book. And when Dr. Teegan comes out you tell her that today is different because I am not there and maybe she can even help you to still feel comfortable." Spencer didn't seem to convinced by that but let's it slide till Hotch hears Gideon and him arguing. "Spencer please."

"No I am not going."

"Its just this one time."

"No."

"Please, you weren't there the last two weeks you can't skip again." 

"No." Stressed out Gideon looks at his watch. 

"If you don't go there you will have to call and say you won't." That seems to make Spencer quiet. "I have to go now you can call me this evening to tell me how it went." He didn't get a goodbye and Hotch walked down the stairs to Reid's desk.

"When is your appointment?"

"4:30pm."

"You want me to come with you?" Surprised Reid looks up. 

"You are my boss."

"And Gideon isn't?"

"No." 

"I am just offering."

"That's unprofessional of you to offer." Spencer points out. 

"You think so?"

"Yes." 

"I am sorry then." He leaves him to it. He wonders if Reid will ever start opening up to him, he didn't feel comfortable with how much he weights the fact that Hotch is his supervisor. He can hardly have a private conversation with him about anything ever. 

The day Gideon dies on the job,and Hotch is certain he will, will probably the day that will make Spencer's life an even more living hell than it currently is. Nearly everything he does is somewhere connected to Gideon. And Hotch knows he could never live up to that.


	6. Chapter 6

To say Reid was an emotional mess was an understatement and no matter how hard everyone tried it just seemed to get worse. It's been four days since Gideon officially left the team, five since Spencer found the letter and Hotch was trying his best to help him but he was not letting anyone through. 

"Reid what do you need?"

"Nothing."

"It can't be nothing."

"Let me think. Leave me alone." Spencer snaps, pushing Hotch hand off the table he was working at and continuing his geographic profile. And Hotch did,he finally had asked for something, to be left alone and that was something Hotch could provide. 

Morgan hadn't much more luck. He tried his best getting him to sleep in the evening, even using Gideons tip to make a plan with him, step by step but nothing helped. "Come here."

"What?"

"Come here we are watching a documentary on my laptop."

"Why?"

"Because you can't sleep and I can't sleep when you can't sleep now come here already." Sceptical Spencer moves under Morgans blanket, letting the other man drap it over him and pulling him as close as possible and then starting a random documentary he found on the website of an TV-sender and felt Reid relaxing. He dosed off waking up to Reid sticking his hand out under the blanket to start the second part and when that finally ended the man in his arms was asleep. And Morgan was not long after too.

The peace didn't stay for long, at breakfast it was clear that he had absolutely no patience and that nobody was sure how to handle that. They knew yelling at him wasn't an option and they knew letting him do what he does is also not. 

Hotch was cursing the man that had just left Spencer like this while he watched Emily trying to calm him down as he was hitting his tight with his fist repeatedly. "Everybody leaves me." He bits out.

"I am sorry Spencer."

"Everybody leaves me. Dad left, Elle left, Gideon left. Everybody leaves me." He hits again and again till he eventually stops and lets Emily help him up under the glances from the people sitting in the restuarant in the hotel eating their breakfast. 

"C'mon we get you into your hotel room." 

"Work."

"I don't think-"

"Reid is right we have work to do." Hotch steps in, following them out to the SUV's. 

"Who are you calling kid?" Morgans asks as he watches him taking his phone out as they are sitting and standing in a small conference room for what feels like the tenth time today.

"Gideon." He says and puts his phone back when the man didn't pick up. "I rationally know he won't pick but I keep hoping that he does. I don't know what I did wrong."

"Nothing. You did nothing wrong." 

"But why did he leave?" Spencer asks desperat to get an answer. 

"I can't tell you more than what was in that letter but I promise you that it had nothing to do with you." Hotch steps in. 

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because he loved you with all of his heart."

"No he didn't." The room fell silence, even the last person stopped reading their file. 

"He never told you that?"

"No."

"Well he did. There is no doubt he did." Hotch states unsure if that would help him. 

"People who love someone else don't leave."

"Sometimes they do. He can still love you from were ever he is." That is fucking bullshit, Hotch thought to himself. With every other person, yes that would be the case but Gideon must have known how much this would ruin Spencer and to then have the heart to step away like this is not what he would title as love.

"I don't want that." Spencer slams his phone on the table and goes back to working while Morgan shoots Hotch a look that says 'worth the try' . 

It took them not even two hours to forget about the next thing. "I bought Pizza for everyone." Hotch announces walking back into the conference room after questioning a witness at the mall. "Let's take a break for a few minutes and then keep working." When Reid didn't take a slice himself he puts it on a napkin placing it infront of him but he didn't react just kept working. "You need to eat."

"I don't like salami pizza."

"Oh I didn't know that I am sorry." 

"Let me take it off." Emily tries in a kind voice starting to pick the meat off it. 

"Better?" Disgusted Reid looked at the women who licked her finger before looking back to the slice. "What's wrong?"

"Did you just use your dirty fingers to-" In disbelief Spencer looked at Hotch. 

"I will eat the slice don't worry." Hotch steps in and the team let's Spencer work in peace and eventhough that's not the healthiest thing to do it was the thing that seems to keep him the calmest. They all didn't want to repeat this morning if its possible. 

There was a little discussion about getting him to follow Morgan to the hotel but they changed tactics quickly when Spencer got angry again so Morgan announced to sleep on the old small couch keeping Spencer company while he works.

When the other three came back in the morning Spencer had his head buried in his arms on the table and Morgan was asleep immediately sitting up when he heard them coming in and waving them off when he realized they made the sound and not Reid and went back to sleep for good 20 minutes before realizing that this is not it and getting back to work, covering Reid's back with his Jacket. 

"The one waking him up gets fired." Hotch announces. 

"I watched animal documentarys and slept on this couch for him I have jokers."

"You watched animal documentarys?"

"He wouldn't sleep so I got creative." Morgan answers JJ's question. 

"Your idea to get him to eat?" Hotch asks more jokingly than serious but to be honest if the Agent had an idea he would take it.

"He doesn't eat breakfast. Makes him feel sick. Only black coffee." 

"Remind me to have a talk with him about healthy eating habits." 

When Reid woke up he was surprisingly emotional. Crying the moment Emily told him he had to change his geographic profile because a new victim showed up. It showed them that he had no idea to express or handle what he was feeling. "No No Reid, it wasn't your mistake it just needs a little bit of editing." Emily promises him as he looks up to her in tears. "Look, its not that far outside of your prognoses."

"It is."

"It isn't. I promise you." Sadly he wipes the tears of his face,Morgans jacket still covering his lap. "You wanna take a break first or do it now?" With Empathy Morgan and Emily watched him take one of the markers and add the new location and information on the map laying infront of him. 

Hotch eyed them concerned when he saw Reid crying but they send him looks telling him not to ask. 

They got taken by surprise again when Morgan wanted to take his jacket and Spencer holds it down and immediately starting to cry again when he realized he would have to let him take it. "It's alright you can keep it." Morgan would freeze to death if it means that Spencer wouldn't cry. 

Hotch had watched Spencer's attachment to things before. Whenever he would feel emotional Gideon would place his brown jacket on Spencer's shoulder, in the jet he would always curl up under the fuzzy blue blanket that can hardly warm anyone.

"You are tired,c'mon let me take you to the hotel room." Morgan tried desperately in the late afternoon. Spencer was sitting on the couch, shivering and complaining to be cold. "You can keep the jacket on." Eventually he does follow Morgan and they catch the unsub later that night and when Morgan walks back into the hotel room he finds Spencer sleeping on his bed, in his own pyjama but still in Morgans thick jacket. Quietly he changes in his sleep wear and feels if Spencer is too warm under the blanket and jacket. He takes the risk and tries pulling of the jacket when Spencer suddenly whines, clutching the clothing item. "You are heating up." Apperently feeling the sweat now himself he sits up and let's Morgan help him. "Good, you can go back to sleep." Just when he was about to turn around and go to the other bed he felt Reid tugging him. "You sure?" He didn't need to ask again, the big begging puppy eyes answered his question, so he lays himself on his back next to Reid and waits for him to lay down to. The younger man curls up next to him as close as possible, placing his head on his chest and gripping Morgans shirt playing with the fabric. 

It took some time for Spencer to settle in with the change but eventually Hotch asked him to his office and hold up Gideons old calendar. "I took a lock inside."

"Why?"

"I- They were cleaning out his office and these are the boxes. If you want to you can have them."

"Really?"

"Yeah, sure." Interested Spencer crouches down next to the boxes inspecting the stuff inside. There were his certifications and a few picture frames. The other was filled with books. 

"I am sorry that he did this to you and I am not trying to take his place but if you think I can help you with anything, I am more than happy to do so." He watches Spencer take out a picture frame. Hotch knew which ones it was it was a picture of the team taken at a lake. Spencer had started to use this really old camera and a police officer had offered to take it. Gideon had went ones to get the film developed since Spencer didn't want to. Gideon had not shown anyone the pictures didn't want to embarrass anyone but had kept them in his drawer. "The others are in an envelope you took quite a few." 

"I didn't know he kept them."

"Of course he did." It took Spencer another two weeks when he someday quietly placed used film in the Teamleaders hand and with that 30 bucks.

It wasn't everything but it was a start,a start showing that Spencer had understood what he meant when they had this conversation and when Hotch bought the pictures back and Spencer looked through them, finding a few of Gideon in them and started to cry, he led Hotch hold him. Hold him till the last tear had dried. It wouldn't be the last tear he sheds for the man but for Hotch it was. He would never tell Spencer to stop caring this much about Gideon but he himself in that moment drew a line. From now on the man was a friend he knew and cared for in a time of his life but no longer would. 

"I've got you and I am not leaving. I promise."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> English is not my first language so I am sorry if some mistakes make you want to clean your eyes with bleach.


End file.
